Our 2 angels. xx

Our 2 angels. xx
Rinty and Spring. xx

Odd One Out. A poem written by Sarah Edwards.

Why oh why are we odd ones out,
Night after night, I dream of more,
Time and time again, I say to myself,
The longing,wanting,hurting, feels so sore,
Will it be different for us,
No, I don’t seem to think,
Friends,family don’t understand,
Our feelings, our yearnings, our hopes and dreams.
Oh, there she is, the barren one,
Nothing can fill this empty space,
In my hearts desire, this tragic place,
In enters the stress, failure and desperation.
Just the same, month in, month out,
Soon the years begin to race by,
Why us, why me, why not one day,
Whatever did we do wrong to live this way.
Children laughing, playing, having fun,
Sounds of happiness and joy,
But here, there is just frozen silence,
For ever, feeling the pain inside,
People think in family ways, planning this and that,
Days out at the zoo, picnics and the seaside,
Bucket and spades, sand in your shoes,
We would love this, if only God would choose.
Empty homes, empty rooms, empty wombs,
Just us two, as one, as ever before,
Don’t get me wrong, the strong love is there,
Will always be, I will love you ever more,
Friends, colleagues,neighbours, forget you have none,
Just everyday planning of family fun,
This is all so easy and normal for you,
Then why oh why, cant we share it too…

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Busy week ahead

This week i have several apppointments with the doctor, the nurse for another injection, then on Friday i have to have another scan to see whats going on.
Im feeling very down at the minute, i have some new painkillers Tramadol they are helping with the pain, but i dont want to take them forever and become dependant on them :(
Ive been off work for several months now, but i still dont know when i can go back.
Since having the monthly hormone injections, my brain feels likes its been fried. I cant remember things, i forget things in mid sentance, it just wants to make me cry, im only 40...

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