sarahs blog: Birthday coming up

Odd One Out. A poem written by Sarah Edwards.

Why oh why are we odd ones out,
Night after night, I dream of more,
Time and time again, I say to myself,
The longing,wanting,hurting, feels so sore,
Will it be different for us,
No, I don’t seem to think,
Friends,family don’t understand,
Our feelings, our yearnings, our hopes and dreams.
Oh, there she is, the barren one,
Nothing can fill this empty space,
In my hearts desire, this tragic place,
In enters the stress, failure and desperation.
Just the same, month in, month out,
Soon the years begin to race by,
Why us, why me, why not one day,
Whatever did we do wrong to live this way.
Children laughing, playing, having fun,
Sounds of happiness and joy,
But here, there is just frozen silence,
For ever, feeling the pain inside,
People think in family ways, planning this and that,
Days out at the zoo, picnics and the seaside,
Bucket and spades, sand in your shoes,
We would love this, if only God would choose.
Empty homes, empty rooms, empty wombs,
Just us two, as one, as ever before,
Don’t get me wrong, the strong love is there,
Will always be, I will love you ever more,
Friends, colleagues,neighbours, forget you have none,
Just everyday planning of family fun,
This is all so easy and normal for you,
Then why oh why, cant we share it too…

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Birthday coming up

As my 40th birthday approaches, it makes me think of my mum. When i was 9 my mum walked out on dad and me. She left with my dads friend.Always when my birthday/christmas occurs i often wonder if she ever thinks of me at all.Weve had no contact at all, it does hurt at times, but most of the time i try to put it at the back of mind.
Im so grateful to my dad who brought me up wonderfully but i know it was hard at times working 2 or 3 jobs.
My mum walked out on us at a difficult time for me, at 9 just when a young girl needs her mum. I was the only kid in the school without a mum. It was a very hard and upsetting time, i sometimes think did i miss out on some of my childhood, but dad did his best.
Now dad has remarried again and been happy for the last 20 odd years with my stepmum. It often makes me think when my birthday comes around. It helps me to write it down. Thats it for now. Take care. xx

1 comment:

Sadie25 October 2011 at 15:03
I have known you for many many years Sarah I do not want to mention how many but i have no doubt your Dad did a fabulous job, as you would'nt be the Sarah we all know and love, having one parent is hard but it makes that bond even more special whether its your mum or dad who has the pleasure of seeing us grow up and as we spread our own wings, and look back and say thanks to that special parent mine was my mum as yours is your Dad xx love to you both xxxx
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